no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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