4 words: hood of his car
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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