the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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