I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
