Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
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I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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