dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
