She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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