I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
