a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
