BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
