Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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