random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
