Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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