have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
