I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She bit a glass in half.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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