What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
are you so shy because you have an std?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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