Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
