Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
