even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
