therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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