Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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