no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
