Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Drake has all the answers
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
