PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
