When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
