do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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