its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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