i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
