Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
