shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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