I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
