Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
