She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
