Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Houston, we have a blender
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
