the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
