he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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