OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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