maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
