The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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