You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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