i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You can't just leave with hair like that
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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