I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
