We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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