youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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