You were right. It hurts to walk today.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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