there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
