Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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