Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
