marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
