he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
