Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
