Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
