So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
