I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What a dumb baby whore.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
