I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
