The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
