his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
