is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
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The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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