Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
